Aulas de Alana

Nesta terça (10), estive na academia Livianne Pimenta para acompanhar a bolsista Alana Moreira de Aguiar em mais uma rotina de aulas. É, parece que a vida de um bailarino não é fácil, além de ter que naturalmente pertencer a um padrão estético, é preciso uma rigorosa disciplina para chegar-se a um satisfatório corpo que renda performances convincentes.

Alana , além de aluna da academia, também é professora. Ela dá aulas para pequeninas durante o final da tarde. São tão bonitinhas as meninas que usam o uniforme rosa. As  meninas e meninos que querem ser bailarinos um dia, devem começar cedo, afinal é uma profissão da juventude, pois a vida util de um bailarino pode acabar muito antes da meia idade.

Ironia do destino! Agora Alana é minha professora…srsr…Acabei  virando aluno da academia semana passada, e agora ela será a nova professora. Está sendo muito bacana fazer aulas na academia, pois o balé clássico é muito útil, servindo como base para as aulas de contemporâneo que faço.

Alguns alunos da academia, inclusive eu, vamos participar em setembro de um evento super importante para a dança no estado, que é o 1° Passo da Arte. É um festival de proposta competitiva que coloca seus pés na capital, e vamos ver no que vai dar.

Eu fiquei das 16:30 até umas 21:oo horas participando da minha aula e observando as aulas que Alana ministrou e que também participa. É muito interessante ver como a dança está inserida na vida dessa jovem bailarina. A professora de Alana é Liviane Pimenta, que inclusive, é a orientadora da bolsa de Alana no Programa Rede Cultura Jovem.

No final da noite, a professora e os alunos sentaram e foram decidir quais as coreografias que serão feitas no Passo da arte no mês que vem.

E é isso, em breve postarei uma entrevista sobre o projeto de Alana. Abrações!!!

Abaixo umas fotos das aluninhas de Alana e dos outros alunos da Academia que fazem aula com a bolsista:

Allan Moscon – Agente Cultura Jovem

2010
08/12
CATEGORIA
Diário de Bordo
3.268 comentarios

  1. Allan! Que boa notícia!!! Bom saber que a participação no ACJ está rendendo frutos e ampliando as suas perspectivas.

    • LIVIANE PIMENTA
    • outubro 7th, 2010

    Alan,
    Parabéns vc escreve muito bem!!
    Agora estou aqui em Juiz de Fora – MG acompanhando Alana no Exame Internacional da Royal of London, onde ela acaba de fazer um exame para certificação internacional. O resultado da aprovação ou não sai em Dezembro!!! Estamos todos ansiosos.
    Sds,
    Liviane Pimenta

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  192. Better a lean agreement than a fat sentence. – Italian Proverb

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  197. All Acts of Love & Pleasure Are My Rituals.

  198. Tallulah Bankhead~ If I had to live my life again Id make the same mistakes only sooner.

  199. Alain~ What is a thousand years Time is short for one who thinks endless for one who yearns.

  200. Eric J. Joiner Jr.~ No one ever promised that the fastest horse in the race was the easiest one to ride. on managing talented people

  201. Latin Proverb~ Live your own life for you will die your own death.

  202. What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player? A wide receiver.

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  204. Attention span measured in micro seconds.

  205. Lillian Eichler Watson~ There has never been an age that did not applaud the past and lament the present.

  206. Beware of people who dislike cats. – Irish Proverb

  207. What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef!

  208. Dr. Jeffrey Borenstein~ Freedom is that instant between when someone tells you to do something and when you decide how to respond.

  209. What’s the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!

  210. Anger ventilated often hurries towards forgiveness; anger concealed often hardens into revenge. – Sir Henry Bulwer

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  212. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

  213. What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? A cat-a-log.

  214. Happy is she who is in love with an old dotard. – Italian Proverb

  215. Falcons don’t fly after cage-birds. – Darkovan Proverb

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  217. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  218. How to use the word mac and macbook in google adwords title?

  219. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head? A: Sweet fuck all.

  220. Frank H. Crane~ You often get a better hold upon a problem by going away from it for a time and dismissing it from your mind altogether.

  221. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

  222. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

  223. If you have a friend who is a doctor, make your bow and send him to the house of your enemy. – Spanish Proverb

  224. Charles Dickens~ There is a wisdom of the head and … a wisdom of the heart.

  225. Publius Celsus~ There is no legal obligation to perform impossibilities.

  226. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Ari! Ari who? Arin’t you glad you use Dial!

  227. Sir Thomas More~ Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.

  228. Sure I’m for helping the elderly. I’m going to be old myself someday. (at age 85). -Lilian Carter

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  233. As the sunshine shone on the side of the shot-silk sash shop.

  234. Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella? Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

  235. John Varley~ Never trust anybody who says trust me. Except just this once of course. – from Steel Beach

  236. Cutting Edge: The time between buying your new computer and unpacking it at home.

  237. You notice what I drink, and not the thirst I feel. – Spanish Proverb

  238. A business with an income at its heels. – William Cowper

  239. Sir Frederick G. Banting~ No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.

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  242. Bette Davis~ If youve never been hated by your child youve never been a parent.

  243. Cats must chew holes in the bags of clean kitty litter and spread it on the floor.

  244. Ernest Hemingway~ Never confuse movement with action.

  245. Computer helpline? Everytime I log onto the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes snow white. . . .

  246. You! – OUT of my dream!

  247. How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself – so always think positively. -Norman Vincent Peale

  248. Carmen de Monteflores~ Oppression can only survive through silence.

  249. Joe E. Lewis~ You only live once – but if you work it right once is enough.

  250. When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

  251. Like a parakeet that says what he knows but doesn’t know what he says. – Spanish Proverb

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  258. Every fool is different. – German Proverb

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  263. You can be right or you can be happy. -Gerald G Jampolsky

  264. Anon.~ Opportunity may knock only once but temptation leans on the doorbell.

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  266. Clint Eastwood~ Theres only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is Ill get married again.

  267. My No is as good as your Yes. – Italian Proverb

  268. Eric Hoffer~ Rudeness is the weak mans imitation of strength.

  269. Washington Irving~ I am always at a loss to know how much to believe of my own stories.

  270. How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But he gets three hours credit.

  271. Chico Marx~ Mustards no good without roast beef.

  272. I being satisfied, the world is satisfied. – Italian Proverb

  273. Man can count the seeds in an apple, but only God can count the apples in a seed.

  274. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Arnold! Arnold who? Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine!

  275. The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

  276. What do you call 9 blondes in a circle? A dope ring.

  277. Ralph W. Sockman~ Be careful that victories do not carry the seed of future defeats.

  278. Nora Joyce to her husband James~ Why dont you write books people can read

  279. Because you are someone special I send jou my love today For you are verry wonderful In each and every way.

  280. Napoleon Bonaparte~ There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.

  281. Advantage is a better soldier than rashness. – English Proverb

  282. No one can defeat us unless we first defeat ourselves. -Dwight Eisenhower

  283. You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be. -David Viscott

  284. Dutch Proverb~ He who undertakes too much seldom succeeds.

  285. When something important is going on, silence is a lie. -A.M. Rosenthal

  286. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. -Sir Winston Churchill

  287. Astronomers do it all night.

  288. Take care of the pence and the pounds will take care of themselves. – Darkovan Proverb

  289. Jane Austen~ In every power of which taste is the foundation excellence is pretty fairly divided between the sexes.

  290. Do steam rollers really roll steam?

  291. Aesop~ Affairs are easier of entrance than of exit and it is but common prudence to see our way out before we venture in.

  292. Mark Beltaire~ Strike from mankind the principle of faith and men would have no more history than a flock of sheep.

  293. Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean. -Confucius

  294. Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said Sorry, no professionals.

  295. Miguel de Cervantes~ When thou art at Rome do as they do at Rome.

  296. What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster!

  297. Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line? eFISHancy!

  298. be at peace with yourself (shut-up).

  299. Thornton~ Seek the lofty by reading hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.

  300. William Carlos Williams~ The better work men do is always done under stress and at great personal cost.

  301. Tupac Shakur~ Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.

  302. Image creates desire. You will want what you imagine. -J. G. Gallimore

  303. Everything I really needed to know, I learned in sniper school

  304. Niels Henrik David Bohr~ No no youre not thinking youre just being logical.

  305. Catherine de Hueck Doherty~ Acquire inner peace and a multitude will find their salvation near you.

  306. 90% of people are made by accident.

  307. Why are elephants grey? So you can tell them from flamingos!

  308. Anon.~ Learn from yesterday live for today hope for tomorrow.

  309. Hippocrates~ Idleness and lack of occupation tend – nay are dragged – towards evil.

  310. Max Beerbohm~ People who insist on telling their dreams are among the terrors of the breakfast table.

  311. Immature love: I love you because I need you. Mature love; I need you because I love you.

  312. Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time. -Arnold Glascow

  313. Expenditure rises to meet income. -C Northcote Parkinson

  314. Nothing is politically right which is morally wrong. -Daniel O’connell

  315. Dick Cavett~ If your parents never had children chances are you wont either.

  316. How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!

  317. Take thy thoughts to bed with thee, for the morning is wiser than the evening. – Russian Proverb

  318. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

  319. He who serves many masters must neglect some of them. – Spanish Proverb

  320. Q: Where do you look for blonde’s obituaries? A: Under Home Improvements.

  321. It is better to deal with a whole fool than half a fool. – German Proverb

  322. Roy G. Blount Jr.~ I prefer my oysters fried That way I know my oysters died.

  323. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it!

  324. No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking. -Voltaire

  325. Henry David Thoreau~ In what concerns you much do not think that you have companions know that you are alone in the world.

  326. If you want to be served, serve yourself. – Portuguese Proverb

  327. David Ashley Brewer~ All of lifes great lessons present themselves again and again until mastered.

  328. Alfred Bernhard Nobel~ Hope is natures veil for hiding truths nakedness.

  329. Denis Watley~ Its not what you are that holds you back its what you think you are not.

  330. Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A: A roamin’ Catholic!

  331. Step on a crack break your mother’s back. – American Proverb

  332. Sun-tzu~ Victorious warriors win first and then go to war while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.

  333. Better is an enemy to good. – German Proverb

  334. Some cats will growl, meow, scratch, or bite the hand holding catnip.

  335. With someone holding nothing but trumps it is impossible to play cards. – Proverb

  336. The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one person. – Vi Putnam

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  338. Hamilton Mabie~ Dont be afraid of opposition. Remember a kite rises against not with the wind.

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  341. Menander~ The man who runs may fight again.

  342. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

  343. To forget a wrong is the best revenge. – Spanish Proverb

  344. Herman Melville~ It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.

  345. Rush Hour~ Carter This is the United States of James Carter here. Im the president Im the emperor Im the king. Im Michael Jackson you Tito

  346. Oscar Wilde~ America had often been discovered before Columbus but it had always been hushed up.

  347. What is the most romantic city in England? Loverpool!

  348. Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought.

  349. A dozen dim ding-dongs.

  350. If there were no receiver there would be no thief. – Spanish Proverb

  351. And what is a man without energy? Nothing – nothing at all. -Mark Twain

  352. Charles De Gaulle~ The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

  353. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!

  354. Living a life without limits is the highest state of existence. -Lieh Tzu

  355. Turn your scars into stars. -Robert Schuller

  356. You just may be a #catnut if: You ask Netflix if they can include cat food with your order.

  357. No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it.

  358. Wystan Hugh Auden~ All sin tends to be addictive and the terminal point of addiction is what is called damnation.

  359. Waiter, I can’t seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?

  360. Martin Luther King Jr.~ Segregation is the adultery of an illicit intercourse between injustice and immorality.

  361. Discretion is the better part of valor. – English Proverb

  362. Michael Brown~ The Human Spirit can never be paralyzed. If you are breathing you can dream.

  363. What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? Santa Claws.

  364. Every beginning is hard, said the thief, when he began by stealing an anvil. – German Proverb

  365. Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets.

  366. Reggie Jackson~ Fans dont boo nobodies.

  367. If you want to live and thrive, let the spider run alive. – Spanish Proverb

  368. What is the hamburgers’ most familiar song? ‘Home on the Range’!

  369. Hilaire Belloc~ All men have an instinct for conflict at least all healthy men.

  370. Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A. Ruth-less.

  371. Real education should educate us out of self into something far finer – into a selflessness which links us with all humanity. – Nancy Astor

  372. Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf~ Leadership is a combination of strategy and character. If you must be without one be without the strategy.

  373. Theodore Roethke~ I wake to sleep and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go.

  374. There are several alternatives to a complete declawing, including trimming or a less radical surgery to remove the claws.

  375. What was Camelot? A place where people parked their camels!

  376. The master’s eye does more than both his hands. – German Proverb

  377. George Eliot~ Little children are still the symbol of the eternal marriage between love and duty.

  378. Q: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? A: Nothing. But he promised he’d make it up to them on the next one.

  379. Henry Christopher Bailey~ Faith is a higher faculty than reason.

  380. The Bible says that Jesus died for our sins. Couldn’t you say the same thing about King Kong, Cool Hand Luke, and Frankenstein?

  381. Absence is to love as wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

  382. Religions are just large Cults!

  383. The gestation period for cats is between 64ñ67 days, with an average length of 66 days.

  384. Late children are early orphans. – English Proverb

  385. My karma ran over my dogma.

  386. I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish. – Billy Crystal

  387. Unknown~ Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

  388. My main purpose in life is to make money so that I can afford to go on creating more inventions. – Thomas Alva Edison

  389. Diversity is the spice of life.

  390. Leo C. Rosten~ If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it.

  391. Phaedrus~ The humble suffer when the mighty disagree.

  392. Vincent Van Gogh~ I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate.

  393. Two Truckee truckers truculently truckling

  394. Broad thongs may be cut from other men’s leather. – Italian Proverb

  395. J. W. Fulbright~ The citizen who criticizes his country is paying it an implied tribute.

  396. Edward Gibbon~ History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes follies and misfortunes of mankind.

  397. Sometimes too much to drink isn’t enough.

  398. Alighieri Dante~ For what is liberty but the unhampered translation of will into act

  399. Robert M. Pirsig~ The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.

  400. Nuke the Whales.

  401. The Lady Artistby Andrew Pictures

  402. V. Z. Lawton~ Its not Jerusalem Its not Baghdad. Its not Bolivia. Its Oklahoma.

  403. Why did the Gorilla fail English? He had little Ape-titude!

  404. Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. -David Frost

  405. Jim Rohn~ The book you dont read cant help.

  406. What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits.

  407. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche~ This is the hardest of all to close the open hand out of love and keep modest as a giver.

  408. Al Franken~ Its easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

  409. Marcus Tullius Cicero~ Vivere est cogitare. (To think is to live)

  410. The cat’s most ancient ancestor probably was a weasel like animal called Miacis, which lived about 40 million or 50 million years ago.

  411. More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.

  412. Cat Philosophy – Always lick after meals.

  413. If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were. – Anonymous

  414. Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, even a burned out bulb can’t catch a waiters eye

  415. Whoever called snooker chess with balls was rude, but right. ~Clive James

  416. Poets need not go to Niagara to write about the force of falling water. -Robert Frost

  417. Napoleon I~ Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.

  418. A shady lane breeds mud. – English Proverb

  419. Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. -Napoleon Hill

  420. What song to snakes like to sing? Viva Aspana!

  421. I can get more out of God by believing Him for one minute than by shouting at Him all night. (Smith Wigglesworth)

  422. In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving. (Sheldon Kopp)

  423. Doctor I keep thinking I’m God. When did this start? Well first I created the sun, then the earth

  424. Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do. -Rumi

  425. Better free in a foreign land than a serf at home. – German Proverb

  426. Hey, you just shot my wife. I’m so sorry, have a shot at mine!

  427. Fortune, and go to sleep. – Italian Proverb

  428. Never ever give Tylenol to a cat.

  429. Take in laundry before you take in partners. – Spanish Proverb

  430. Francis Bacon~ Revenge is a kind of wild justice which the more mans nature runs to the more ought law to weed it out.

  431. The river does not swell with clear water. – Italian Proverb

  432. Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less -Rabbi Julius Gordon

  433. Redneck Tip: Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

  434. How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It’s a place of udder delight.

  435. Suzanne Chapin~ All that is worth cherishing begins in the heart not the head.

  436. Pagan and Proud!

  437. You’re probably a cat – If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong.

  438. Louis Pasteur~ In the fields of observation chance favors only the prepared mind.

  439. In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely. In the country, people are quiet but few are lonely. (Geoffrey F. Fisher)

  440. Good men prefer to be accountable. – Michael Edwardes

  441. Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose. -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

  442. Cat Note2self: If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

  443. As the field, so the crops; as the father, so the sons. – German Proverb

  444. Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other. ~Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1823

  445. It is not what you are called, but what you answer to. – African Proverb

  446. You can disagree without being disagreeable. -Zig Ziglar

  447. Cat Phrase: mrooww – Means: I love you.

  448. Logan Pearsall Smith~ It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people.

  449. There is no law but has a hole in it, for those who can find it out. – German Proverb

  450. Work and acquire, and thou hast chained the wheel of chance. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

  451. David Dean Rusk~ The United States is not just an old cow that gives more milk the more its kicked in the flanks.

  452. Cats greet you when coming home with a cheerful meow and a quick brush against the legs; dogs pounce on you and knock you over.

  453. Where honour ceaseth, there knowledge decreaseth. – German Proverb

  454. Fight organized crime. Abolish the IRS.

  455. Elbert Hubbard~ The artist needs no religion beyond his work.

  456. Romantic Remembrance by Valentine Card

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    A servant and a cock must be kept but one year. – Portuguese Proverb

  458. Give me a seat, and I will make myself room to lie down. – Spanish Proverb

  459. Sir Winston Churchill~ It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.

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  461. Redneck Computer Term: MODEM: What ya do when the grass gets too high.

  462. Which rich wicked witch wished the wicked wish?

  463. Doctor, I’ve got a little sty. Then you’d better buy a little pig.

  464. Why did the bird join he air force? He wanted to be a parrot trooper!

  465. Truth should not always be revealed. – German Proverb

  466. Marriage is a three ring circus: – Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.

  467. Fear grows from what we don’t know, faith comes from what we do.

  468. What cures Sancho makes Martha sick. – Spanish Proverb

  469. Hellen Keller~ The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.

  470. Where there is great love, there are always miracles. -Willa Cather

  471. To have joy one must share it. Happiness was born a twin. -Lord Byron

  472. Free your software, and your ass will follow

  473. Sleeping people can’t fall down. – Japanese Proverb

  474. I never saw a pessimistic general win a battle.

  475. George Santayana~ The wisest mind has something yet to learn.

  476. William Feather~ Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.

  477. Few people have the virtue to withstand the highest bidder. -George Washington

  478. In some attempts, it is glorious even to fail. -Longinus

  479. I think complexity is mostly sort of crummy stuff that is there because it’s too expensive to change the interface. – Jaron Lanier

  480. Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without the strategy. -Norman Schwarzkopf

  481. Catching Criminals by Hans Upp

  482. Success consecrates the foulest crimes. – Russian Proverb

  483. La Rochefoucauld~ Some disguised deceits counterfeit truth so perfectly that not to be taken in by them would be an error of judgment.

  484. Whoever brings finds the door open for him. – Italian Proverb

  485. Mark Twain~ Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority its time to pause and reflect.

  486. Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success. -William J. H. Boetcker

  487. James F. Byrnes~ Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life.

  488. Plain bun, plum bun, bun without plum.

  489. German proverb~ Who begins too much accomplishes little.

  490. Cats have a third eyelid at the inner corner of the eye. It is pale pink in color, and mostly visible if ill or has something in the eye.

  491. The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.

  492. When a dove begins to associate with crows its feathers remain white but its heart grows black. – German Proverb

  493. Oliver Wendell Holmes~ Its faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes life worth living.

  494. Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

  495. Paul Valery~ Books have the same enemies as people fire humidity animals weather and their own content.

  496. What’s red and green and wears boxing gloves? A fruit punch.

  497. You can determine how confident people are by listening to what they don’t say about themselves. -Brian G. Jett

  498. Thomas Bailey Aldrich~ To keep the heart unwrinkled to be hopeful kindly cheerful reverent – that is to triumph over old age.

  499. From long journeys long lies. – Spanish Proverb

  500. Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf~ The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.

  501. I believe in the Big Bang theory. God spoke and BANG! It was.

  502. Which vampire tried to eat James Bond? Ghouldfinger.

  503. Sren Aaby Kierkegaard~ Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.

  504. Definition of a prostitute: Receiver of swollen goods.

  505. Howard Mumford Jones~ Persecution is the first law of society because it is always easier to suppress criticism than to meet it.

  506. Sagi@gmail.com

  507. John Maurice Clark~ Knowledge is the only instrument of production That is not subject to the law of diminishing returns.

  508. It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities.

  509. Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be taught that sorrows know how to swim.

  510. Abraham Lincoln~ The better part of ones life consists of his friendships.

  511. Age and wedlock tame man and beast. – English Proverb

  512. Robert Bringle~ Envy can be a positive motivator. Let it inspire you to work harder for what you want.

  513. Unknown~ Success has many fathers but failure is an orphan.

  514. Its no use going to the goat’s house to look for wool. – Irish Proverb

  515. Batman~ The Joker What kind of a world is this where a man dressed as a bat gets ALL MY PRESS This town needs an enema

  516. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce~ There are four kinds of Homicide felonious excusable justifiable and praiseworthy.

  517. Sidney Goff~ A good time to keep your mouth shut is when youre in deep water.

  518. Ralph Waldo Emerson~ We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body.

  519. Never cut what you can untie. -Joseph Joubert

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  521. Josh Billings~ Reason often makes mistakes but conscience never does.

  522. Publilius Syrus~ A gift in season is a double favor to the needy.

  523. What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat? Bullogna

  524. You cannot be really first-rate at your work if your work is all you are. -Anna Quindlen

  525. To insure good health: Eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.

  526. Because you are someone special I send jou my love today For you are verry wonderful In each and every way.

  527. Do the thing and you will have the power. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

  528. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.

  529. J Danforth Quayle~ Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. Its the other way around. They never vote for us.

  530. Michael J. Gelb~ Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving.

  531. The greatest advantage in gambling lies in not playing at all. ~ Girolamo Cardano

  532. Yo mamas so fat it took me a bus and two trains just to get on her good side.

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  535. The weak can never Forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the Strong. (Mahatma Gandhi)

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  538. Karl Marx~ Reason has always existed but not always in a reasonable form.

  539. George Bernard Shaw~ A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

  540. What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. -Leo Tolstoy

  541. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. -Unknown Author

  542. William Shakespeare~ An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

  543. Sir Winston Churchill~ Broadly speaking the short words are the best and the old words best of all.

  544. All cats are right.

  545. The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn… and change. -Carl Rogers

  546. Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.

  547. William James~ Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.

  548. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Bera! Bera who? Bera necessity!

  549. Three reasons to be a teacher- June, July, and August.

  550. Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? – A: Because you can’t bury them in the sky!

  551. Sren Kierkegaard~ Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor.

  552. Cats must knock their toys under the refrigerator.

  553. Louis de Saint-Just~ Keep cool and you command everybody.

  554. Wilson Mizner~ The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

  555. Yo Mama soooo old she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket!

  556. It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude. -Zig Ziglar

  557. Why did the horse miss the joust? He had the knight off!

  558. Be good or be good at it!

  559. He expects to find water at the first stroke of the spade. – Spanish Proverb

  560. When you have a number of disagreeable duties to perform, always do the most disagreeable first. -Josiah Quincy

  561. Sophocles~ To err from the right path is common to mankind.

  562. Scott Adams~ We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.

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  564. Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. – Joseph Barth

  565. Vince Lombardi~ Football is not a contact sport its a collision sport – dancing is a contact sport.

  566. Take thy thoughts to bed with thee, for the morning is wiser than the evening. – Russian Proverb

  567. A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!

  568. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Ashley! Ashley who? Ashley-t’s foot!

  569. What’s the difference between a sigh, a car and a monkey? A sigh is oh, dear. A car is too dear. A monkey is you, dear.

  570. Sing “Nearer My God to Thee” at 75 mph….

  571. How can you tell a dog from a tomato? The tomato is red.

  572. Timothy Bible New Testament~ Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies.

  573. If you can read this I’m not going fast enough.

  574. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Aida! Aida who? Aida more than I drink!

  575. Upon our children – how they are taught – rests the fate – or fortune – of tomorrow’s world. -B C Forbes

  576. Other people and things can stop you temporarily. You’re the only one who can do it permanently.

  577. The cask full, the mother-in-law drunk. – Spanish Proverb

  578. Mother Theresa~ Joy is prayer – Joy is strength – Joy is love – Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.

  579. Doctor I feel like a dog! Sit!

  580. Boy monster: You’ve got a face like a million dollars! Girl monster: Have I really? Boy monster: Yes – it’s green and wrinkly!

  581. Redneck Vocabulary: Bobbycue – A delectable Southern sandwich of chopped pork, cole slaw, and a fiery sauce.

  582. All are not saints who go to church. – Italian Proverb

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  585. Cats must refuse to eat their food until it has been piled into a pyramid shape.

  586. We shouldn’t deny the pain of what happens in our lives. We should just refuse to focus only on the valleys. (Charles Swindoll)

  587. Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

  588. Rosalyn S. Yalow~ The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as youre learning youre not old.

  589. Garry Marshall~ Its always helpful to learn from your mistakes because then your mistakes seem worthwhile.

  590. Alimony is having an ex-husband you can bank on.

  591. that can never be erased. (Gabe Suico)

  592. William James~ The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

  593. He’s the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines.

  594. God protect me from YOUR followers.

  595. Equal rights for unborn women

  596. To err is human… to really foul up requires the root password.

  597. The lame goat does not take a siesta. – Portuguese Proverb

  598. If you can read this, I’ve lost my boat.

  599. Better is my neighbour’s hen than mine. – Portuguese Proverb

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  606. H.L. Mencken~ Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

  607. Martin Luther~ Anything that one imagines of God apart from Christ is only useless thinking and vain idolatry.

  608. How many men does it take to open a can of beer? ………. None, it should be open when she brings it to him.

  609. My karma ran over my dogma.

  610. George Bernard Shaw~ Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

  611. Seneca~ As was his language so was his life.

  612. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. -Conrad Hilton

    • Staiffdaffons
    • maio 2nd, 2011

    hello! somebody maybe use google?

    [URL=http://google.com]google[/URL]

  614. Big churches, little saints. – German Proverb

  615. Bob Dylan~ He not busy being born is busy dying.

  616. It can’t go on! It can’t go on! What can’t go on? This baby’s vest? it’s too small for me.

  617. Give time time. – Italian Proverb

  618. Benjamin Franklin~ Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

  619. Whoso neglects learning in his youth, loses the past and is dead for the future. -Euripides

  620. Don’t let the computer bugs bite!

  621. Basil OConnor~ The world cannot continue to wage war like physical giants and to seek peace like intellectual pygmies.

  622. Joe Moore~ Its hard to say who gets criticized the most the successful person or the failure but its mighty close.

  623. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been.”

  624. Confucius Say: Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!

  625. Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

  626. Walt Whitman~ The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.

  627. Fame is a magnifying glass. – English Proverb

  628. Celebrate Science & Humanity….Darwin Day!

  629. The best argument is that which seems merely an explanation. – Dale Carnegie

  630. Wall Street Proverb~ Buy on the rumor sell on the news.

  631. In the war of love who flies conquers. – Italian Proverb

  632. What are apricots? Where monkeys sleep.

  633. Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg? Because they’re both cracked!

  634. What are you going to be when you get out of school? An old man!

  635. George Bernard Shaw~ You see things and you say Why But I dream things that never were and I say Why not

  636. Robert Benchley~ A boy can learn a lot from a dog obedience loyalty and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

  637. Like the bee, we should make our industry our amusement. -Oliver Goldsmith

  638. Jacques Prvert~ Even if happiness forgets you a little bit never completely forget about it.

  639. Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.

  640. Sir Thomas Browne~ Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude and the society of thyself.

  641. You don’t have to say anything. You offend me just by being in the area.

  642. Oscar Levant~ Im going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

  643. Ellen Glasgow~ No idea is so antiquated that it was not once modern. No idea is so modern that it will not someday be antiquated.

  644. Do for others with no desire of returned favor. We all should plant some trees we’ll never sit under.

  645. Albert Einstein~ The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.

  646. Daddy’s privates and a cats springy cat toy are interchangeable.

  647. You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. -Ziggy

  648. Everywhere you look in science, the harder it becomes to understand the universe without God. -Robert Herrman

  649. Dazed and Confused~ Pink All Im saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life – remind me to kill myself.

  650. At court there are many hands, but few hearts. – German Proverb

  651. Remember, you can earn more money, but when time is spent is gone forever. -Zig Ziglar

  652. there are ears in the corn field.

  653. It is a small world, but I wouldn’t like to have to paint it.

  654. He’s a sure card. – John Dryden

  655. If Jesus restored the power of speech to a parrot, would it still be considered a miracle?

  656. Danish proverb~ Ask advice only of your equals.

  657. Hugh Prather~ Fear is static that prevents me from hearing my intuition.

  658. Science has promised us truth. It has never promised us either peace or happiness. -Gustave Le Bon

  659. Redneck Would Not Say: – Do you think my hair is too big?

  660. Kahlil Gibran~ Life without liberty is like a body without spirit.

  661. William Gladstone~ Justice delayed is justice denied.

  662. What do you call a pickled aardvark? A jarredvark!

  663. He that would have a beautiful wife should choose her on a Saturday. – Spanish Proverb

  664. Sydney Harris~ Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.

  665. Dare to risk public criticism. -Mary Kay Ash

  666. I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. -Stephen Leacock

  667. A muffled cat is no good mouser. – Italian Proverb

  668. What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road? A mutt in a rut!

  669. Clean clams crammed in clean cans.

  670. Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life. -Pablo Picasso

  671. bell hooks~ The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom…

  672. Step on a crack break your mother’s back. – American Proverb

  673. Prudence keeps life safe, but does not often make it happy. ~Samuel Johnson

  674. Latin Proverb~ Never give a child a sword.

  675. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

  676. Some have the wisdom of old age and the energy of youth. Most have the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

  677. Ben Franklin~ The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

  678. Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup. Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.

  679. Felix G. Rohatyn~ What is desperately needed … is the skepticism and the sense of history that a liberal arts education provides.

  680. What geometric figure is like a runaway parrot? A polygon .

  681. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Anthea! Anthea who? Anthea get home by 8 O’clock, or else!

  682. Yo mama so fat her nickname is Lardo

  683. He whose mistress squints, says the ogles. – German Proverb

  684. Fat frogs flying past fast.

  685. In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher. -Dalai Lama

  686. A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.

  687. Robert Browning~ Motherhood All love begins and ends there.

  688. William Shakespeare~ I understand a fury in your words But not the words.

  689. He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. (George Herbert)

  690. Mind over matter. – German Proverb

  691. Robert Frost~ You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider.

  692. Unknown~ Ive learned that true friendship continues to grow Even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

  693. Self-respect permeates every aspect of your life. – Joe Clark

  694. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot.

  695. Q: What’s the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down.

  696. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Bellows! Bellows who? Bellows me some money can I have it please!

  697. It’s easier to go down a hill than up it but the view is much better at the top. -Arnold Bennet

  698. America. Love it or leave it.

  699. Who Saw Him Go? by Wendy Leeve

  700. Cats must groom the back of mom’s neck.

  701. He who at thirty has no brains, will never purchase an estate. – Spanish Proverb

  702. The will gives the work its name. – German Proverb

  703. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. -From a Headstone in Ireland

  704. Treat people like angels; you will meet some and help make some.

  705. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

  706. Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

  707. What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth? His desk is level

  708. We can often do more for other men by trying to correct our own faults than by trying to correct theirs. -Francois Fenelon

  709. Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.

  710. Anon.~ Pentiums melt in your PC not in your hand.

  711. Real wristwatch straps.

  712. William Blackstone~ It is better that ten guilty escape than one innocent suffer.

  713. Jean Baptiste Rousseau~ Readiness of speech is often inability to hold the tongue.

  714. Marlene Dietrich~ Its the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter.

  715. What is art but a way of seeing? -Thomas Berger

  716. Hasten at leisure. – German Proverb

  717. Epicurus~ Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

  718. Desire! That’s the one secret of every man’s career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire. -Bobby Unser

  719. Anonymous~ May no portent of evil be attached to the words I say.

  720. The mother who spoils her child, fattens a serpent. – Spanish Proverb

  721. Here’s to you and here’s to me and may we never disagree, but if we do I’ll still love you.

  722. There is nothing so bad but may be of some use. – German Proverb

  723. Man is fire, woman is tow; the devil comes with a bellows. – Spanish Proverb

  724. A cat is just a bundle of purr.

  725. the road of life (and endless varitaions).

  726. John Kenneth Galbraith~ Meetings are indispensable when you dont want to do anything.

  727. Toni Cade Bambera~ The dream is real my friends. The failure to realize it is the only unreality.

  728. The horse thinks one thing, and his rider another. – Spanish Proverb

  729. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Becker! Becker who? Becker the devil you know!

  730. Earl Warren~ It is the spirit and not the form of law that keeps justice alive.

  731. If you can’t feel your cats ribs, she’s too heavy.

  732. Henry Ford~ Asking Who ought to be the boss is like asking Who ought to be the tennor in the quartet Obviously the man who can sing tenor.

  733. What kind of thief steals meat? A hamburglar.

  734. Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

  735. In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail. -Anonymous

  736. What is listed as the hair colour on a drivers license of a bald headed man?

  737. Why is a blonde like a mosquito? She starts sucking, you keep slapping her away and she comes back for more.

  738. How is it possible to have a civil war?

  739. Charles Eddie Wiseman~ Were going to raise a lost generation of children unless they are properly disciplined and properly spanked.

  740. James Thurber~ You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

  741. Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, even though it is difficult.

  742. Ever wonder why god-centered religions make a woman responsible for messing up the world?

  743. Why did the viper, viper nose? Because the adder, adder hankerchief!

  744. Cthulhu Saves: so he can eat later.

  745. Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it. (Seneca)

  746. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe~ Divide and rule a sound motto. Unite and lead a better one.

  747. What ghost is handy in the kitchen? A recipe spook.

  748. Lillian Hellman~ Nothing you write if you hope to be good will ever come out as you first hoped.

  749. Gertie’s great-grandma grew aghast at Gertie’s grammar.

  750. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water. – Cynthia Heimel

  751. Cats don’t need to go to school. No tuition fees, no PTA meetings, no phone calls from the school principal about getting in trouble, etc.

  752. Charles Roberts Buxton~ In life as in chess forethought wins.

  753. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you will land among the stars. (Les Brown)

  754. Lyndon B. Johnson~ Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.

  755. Gun Control isn’t about guns. It’s about control.

  756. La Rochefoucauld~ If we judge of love by its usual effects it resembles hatred more than friendship.

  757. I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. – Edgar Allan Poe

  758. Love is never having to say you’re sorry.

  759. Choleric men are blind and mad. – Portuguese Proverb

  760. It is our special duty, that if anyone needs our help, we should give him such help to the utmost of our power. -Cicero

  761. Mind Like A Steel Trap – Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.

  762. Henry Kissinger~ The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

  763. Fair and softly goes far. – Miguel De Cervantes

  764. You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

  765. Spiritual people inspire me – Religious people frighten me.

  766. Excuse me for butting in, but I’m interrupt-driven.

  767. Alfred North Whitehead~ Almost all really new ideas have a certain aspect of foolishness when they are first produced.

  768. As a thing is used, so it brightens. – German Proverb

  769. Bertolt Brecht~ Righteous people have no sense of humor.

  770. once bitten, twice shy.

  771. Ecclesiastes~ Be not slow to visit the sick.

  772. Benjamin Franklin~ There are three great friends an old wife an old dog and ready money.

  773. There are more old tipplers than old doctors. – German Proverb

  774. There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting. -Mark Twain

  775. Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it’s what you are expected to give – which is everything. – Anonymous

  776. Joe E. Lewis~ You only live once – but if you work it right once is enough.

  777. Totie Fields~ Ive been on a diet for two weeks and all Ive lost is two weeks.

  778. In the summer desert heat, what did a dust devil say to the over-talkative dust devil? -You are really blowing a lot of hot air

  779. Charles Fox~ Pleasure and love are the pinions of great deeds.

  780. Peter Nivio Zarlenga~ To come to be you must have a vision of Being a Dream a Purpose a Principle. You will become what your vision is.

  781. Samuel Goldwyn~ A verbal contract isnt worth the paper its written on.

  782. Peter Brock~ Bite off more than you can chew and then chew like hell.

  783. Desire awakens only those things that are thought possible. -Rene Descartes

  784. All Aboard! by Abel Seamann

  785. How do you measure a Villanova graduate’s I. Q. ? With a tire gauge.

  786. What did the overweight ballet dancer perform? The dance of the sugar plump fairy!

  787. Cats must meow pitifully when their hoomans are having sex.

  788. Failure comes in two ways: Those who do it without giving a thought. Those who thought about it but do nothing.

  789. To simplify complications is the first essential of success. – George Earle Buckle

  790. I wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

  791. Sydney Harris~ When I hear somebody sigh Life is hard I am always tempted to ask Compared to what

  792. Carl Sandburg~ One of the greatest necessities in America is to discover creative solitude.

  793. Elizabeth Janeway~ We dont get offered crises they arrive.

  794. Do not plan for ventures before finishing what’s at hand. -Euripides

  795. Good manners and plenty of money will make my son a gentlemen. – Portuguese Proverb

  796. Crime has already been organised. Now it’s up to the police.

  797. Andr Gide~ Welcome anything that comes to you but do not long for anything else.

  798. Dennis OKeefe~ I told you he had a cash register mind. Rings every time he opens his mouth.

  799. Japanese Proverb~ The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour.

  800. truth is nothing but a feeling that something is true.

  801. What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.

  802. Maids say nay, and take. – German Proverb

  803. Dalton Camp~ Politics is made up largely of irrelevancies.

  804. A female cats heat periods last about 4 to 7 days every two weeks usually from January/Feburary through October.

  805. Confucius~ If a man takes no thought about what is distant he will find sorrow near at hand.

  806. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. -Confucius

  807. How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face.

  808. bell hooks~ The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom…

  809. What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.

  810. No success in public life can compensate for failure in the home. -Benjamin Disraeli

  811. What do Scottish owls sing? Owld Lang Syne.

  812. The heart does not think all the mouth says. – Italian Proverb

  813. Chinese Proverb~ One dog barks at something the rest bark at him.

  814. E. M. Kelly~ The difference between a boss and a leader a boss says Go – a leader says Lets go

  815. William James~ Genius means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way.

  816. Doctor I think I’m a yo-yo. Are you stringing me along!

  817. Ovid~ Take rest a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.

  818. P. J. ORourke~ A little government and a little luck are necessary in life but only a fool trusts either of them.

  819. Charles De Gaulle~ How can anyone govern a nation that has different kinds of cheese

  820. No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.

  821. Oh my God, I think I’m becoming the man I wanted to marry!

  822. If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills?

  823. Donnie Brasco~ Lefty When they send for you you go in alive you come out dead and its your best friend that does it.

  824. Persian Proverb~ The loveliest of faces are to be seen by moonlight when one sees half with the eye and half with the fancy.

  825. Henry David Thoreau~ To reget deeply is to live afresh.

  826. High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. -Jack Kinder

  827. Making the Most of Life by Maxie Mumm

  828. Everything is good in its season. – Italian Proverb

  829. Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

  830. Prosperity belongs to those who learn new things the fastest. -Paul Zane Pilzer

  831. When you give a man a dole you deny him his dignity, and when you deny him his dignity you rob him his destiny. -Zig Ziglar

  832. Club soda, not seals.

  833. The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality. ñ Dante

  834. Lao Tzu~ The Way of Heaven is to benefit others and not to injure. The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete.

  835. David wasn’t thinking of being king when he was tending sheep; he was just doing what God sat before him. -John Fisher

  836. Jefferson Davis~ Never be haughty to the humble never be humble to the haughty.

  837. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi~ (On Western civilization) I think it would be a good idea.

  838. You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. -John Nuveen

  839. He who knows nothing doubts nothing. – Italian Proverb

  840. David Letterman~ Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

  841. Lin Yutang~ I have done my best. That is about all the philosophy of living one needs.

  842. Music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue. -Plato

  843. Peter De Vries~ Life is a zoo in a jungle.

  844. the world goes to shit when I don’t do this first.

  845. He who will have eggs, must bear with the cackling. – German Proverb

  846. Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.

  847. The Sphynx cat loves rubbing his head against your stubbly 5 o’clock shadow.

  848. It takes a long time to grow an old friend. -John Leonard

  849. What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar? Gimme a slug of whiskey.

  850. Where do cowboys cook their meals? On the range.

  851. An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY. So he went in and applied for the job!

  852. Theodore Roosevelt~ Whenever you are asked if you can do a job tell em Certainly I can Then get busy and find out how to do it.

  853. Pigs don’t look very smart to me. Sure, they are. You ever see a sow try to make a silk purse out of a farmer’s ear?

  854. There is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living. -David Starr Jordan

  855. Jerry Coleman~ All the Padres need is a flyball in the air.

  856. Q: Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

  857. It’s always too early to quit. -Norman Vincent Peale

  858. George Bernard Shaw~ It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him.

  859. Redneck Computer Term: SCREEN: Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.

  860. Redneck Vocabulary: Uhmukin – Someone who lives in the United States of Uhmurka.

  861. Amelia Earhart~ Flying may not be all plain sailing but the fun of it is worth the price.

  862. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace…you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

  863. Gene Fowler~ Men are not against you they are merely for themselves.

  864. The Sphynx cat are ideal companions for families with children, singles with other pets or experienced cat owners.

  865. Henny Youngman~ If youre going to do something tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning….sleep late.

  866. Turkish Proverb~ If you speak the truth keep a foot in the stirrup.

  867. That suit is best that best fits me. – Italian Proverb

  868. Benjamin Disraeli~ I must follow the people. Am I not their leader

  869. Benjamin Disraeli~ Fear makes us feel our humanity.

  870. Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

  871. I would help you out but I did not see where you came in.

  872. Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup! Couldn’t be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.

  873. I am neither an optimist nor pessimist, but a possibilist. -Max Lerner

  874. Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

  875. Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire~ All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.

  876. The exception proves the rule. – Spanish Proverb

  877. Unknown~ It is impossible to better yourself if you do not know what it means to be better.

  878. Gen. Joseph Stilwell~ Dont let the bastards grind you down.

  879. Henry Adams~ One friend in a lifetime is much two are many three are hardly possible.

  880. Marcus Aurelius Antoninus~ Nothing can come out of nothing any more than a thing can go back to nothing.

  881. The dog that licks ashes is not to be trusted with flour. – Italian Proverb

  882. He who eats pears with his master should not choose the best. – Italian Proverb

  883. Olga Brouman~ She who loves roses must be patient and not cry out when she is pierced by thorns.

  884. He who is of the craft can discourse about it. – Italian Proverb

  885. What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.

  886. Ayn Rand~ Live a life as a monument to your soul.

  887. The nice thing about teamwork is that you always have others on your side. -Margaret Carty

  888. Doctor my baby is the image of his father. Never mind just so long as he’s healthy!

  889. E-mail returned to sender – insufficient voltage.

  890. D. H. Lawrence~ The human soul needs actual beauty more than bread.

  891. Let every tub stand on its own bottom. – Spanish Proverb

  892. Could we but rightly comprehend the mind of man, nothing would be impossible to us upon the earth. -Parcelsus

  893. Q: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? A: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.

  894. Everyone hears what you say, Friends listen to what you say, Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

  895. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

  896. David Zucker~ Quit now youll never make it. If you disregard this advice youll be halfway there.

  897. Aeschylus~ Words are the physicians of the mind diseased.

  898. Arthur Schlesinger Jr.~ The genius of impeachment lay in the fact that it could punish the man without punishing the office.

  899. Confucius~ The superior man is satisfied and composed the mean man is always full of distress.

  900. Publilius Syrus~ In a heated argument we are apt to lose sight of the truth.

  901. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet.

  902. M Scott Peck~ Doubt is often the beginning of wisdom.

  903. Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough. (Dinah Shore)

  904. James Barrie~ The printing press is either the greatest blessing or the greatest curse of modern times sometimes one forgets which it is.

  905. Dan Quayle~ Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.

  906. Tom Lehrer~ I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

  907. Joseph Hall~ He is great enough that is his own master.

  908. Kimon Nicolaides~ The sooner you make your first five thousand mistakes the sooner you will be able to correct them.

  909. Andrew Schneider~ This is Chris-in-the-Morning with the weather and time – hours later than it was yesterday and cold.

  910. I wasn’t aware of the many ripples and depth to this story until I surfed here through Google! Terrific job. My kindest regards, Claudia.

  911. A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. (Chinese Proverb)

  912. A bloke’s back bike brake block broke.

  913. Delay always breeds danger; and to protract a great design is often to ruin it. -Miguel De Cervantes

  914. What does a bee say before it stings you? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!

  915. Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality. -Ralph Marston

  916. He who keeps his own secret avoids much mischief. – Spanish Proverb

  917. One with the courage to laugh is master of the world almost as much as the person ready to die. – Italian Proverb

  918. It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit to forgive them for having witnessed your own. ~Jessamyn West

  919. Cats always: Lick each others privates when the hoomans have guests over.

  920. If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How smart is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

  921. I can’t use Windows. My cat ate my mouse.

  922. If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying for the one it has. (Rev. Robert E. Harris)

  923. As we advance in life we learn the limits of our abilities. – James A. Froude

  924. Customer: I’d like a watch that tells time. Clerk: Don’t you have a watch that tells time? Customer: No, you have to look at it.

  925. Thich Nhat Hanh~ The true miracle is not walking on water or walking in air but simply walking on this earth.

  926. Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.

  927. R. D. Lang~ Insanity – a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

  928. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

  929. Tallulah Bankhead~ Heres a rule I recommend Never practice two vices at once.

  930. You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership. -Dwight D. Eisenhower

  931. Life is really a bed of roses, others are just lucky to have friends to help them pick the thorns off.

  932. Q. What kind of ears do pumpers have? A. Engineers.

  933. Bin Laden used Your gass money.

  934. Jeanne-Marie Roland~ The feeble tremble before opinion the foolish defy it the wise judge it the skillful direct it.

  935. Redneck Would Not Say: – Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

  936. William Shakespeare~ Blow blow thou winter wind Thou art not so unkind As mans ingratitude.

  937. Get a life? I’m a gamer! I have lots of lives!

  938. Every one is glad to see a knave caught in his own trap. – German Proverb

  939. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

  940. Lois McMaster Bujold~ If power was an illusion wasnt weakness necessarily one also

  941. Dan McKinnon~ Remember your past mistakes just long enough to profit by them.

  942. There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes. -William John Bennett

  943. The cock is king on his own dunghill. – German Proverb

  944. Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

  945. Hilaire Belloc~ Im tired of Love Im still more tired of Rhyme. But Money gives me pleasure all the time.

  946. If you can’t beat them, join them.

  947. You got your brain very early. Apparently the warranty has run out.

  948. What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves!

  949. Better suffer a known evil than change for uncertain good. – Spanish Proverb

  950. Cats don’t need therapy to undo their bad socialization.

  951. Addison Mizner~ Misery loves company but company does not reciprocate.

  952. I don’t usually answer to articles but I will in this case. Helpful post. Where did you got all the info from? Anyhow thank you for this excellent post! Yours trully, Joanne.

  953. Euripides~ The man who knows when not to act is wise. To my mind bravery is forethought.

  954. Wealth buys leisure, but not wisdom.

  955. I’ve been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare’s dead, silly. No wonder he hasn’t replied.

  956. Johann von Goethe~ Love is an ideal thing marriage a real thing a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.

  957. All that glisters is not gold. – Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra)

  958. Logan Pearsall Smith~ The test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves.

  959. Only mediocrity of enjoyment is allowed to man. -Hugh Blair

  960. C. D. Jackson~ Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings.

  961. Henry Louis Mencken~ Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

  962. If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?

  963. I’m pretty sure God prefers spiritual fruits to religious nuts.

  964. Marcel Proust~ Desire makes everything blossom possession makes everything wither and fade.

  965. Money: a businessman earns it, an economist learns it, a banker turns it, a politician burns it, and a wise man spurns it.

  966. Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war? He lost it in a hair raid.

  967. Q. Where do tired linedancers go for Breakfast? A. Ihop

  968. Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. (Helen Keller)

  969. Don’t put new wine into old bottles. – Russian Proverb

  970. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always clear?

  971. Sophocles~ Our happiness depends on wisdom all the way.

  972. Nat Burton~ Therell be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover Tomorrow just you wait and see.

  973. William Shakespeare~ Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.

  974. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial charges and blamed it on the cost of living.

  975. Willie Nelson~ Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones youll start having positive results.

  976. Why are diapers like $10 bills? Because you have to change them.

  977. James Albert Michener~ An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine but because people refuse to see it.

  978. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Acis! Acis who? Acis spades!

  979. People do not lack strength; they lack will.

  980. Teacher: Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first? Pupil: I want to know how it ends!

  981. The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.

  982. A ‘wish’ changes nothing. A ‘decision’ changes everything!

  983. Many an anemone sees an enemy anemone.

  984. Rmy de Gourmont~ The terrible thing about the quest for truth is that you find it.

  985. Charles De Gaulle~ Silence is the ultimate weapon of power.

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  987. Adam L. Gordon~ Life is mostly froth and bubble Two things stand like stone – Kindness in anothers trouble Courage in your own.

  988. What do cows like to line dance to? Any kind of moosic you like!

  989. Windmills are not driven by bellows. – German Proverb

  990. Eagles may soar, but weasels aren’t sucked into jet engines

  991. If you still have the courage after loosing all , you can be rest assured that you have not lost everything.

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  993. Martin Mull~ The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

  994. Kurt Herbert Alder~ The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

  995. Catnap – Sleeping for a short period of time

  996. Which dances do the burgers do best? The burger-loo and the char char!

  997. Backups? We don’ *NEED* no steenking backups.

  998. Barbara Adams~ If it helps to make people think a little bit more what those ideals are then Ill keep wearing this uniform.

  999. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm. ~Dan Heist

  1000. a walk is as good as a hit (baseball).

  1001. The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.

  1002. Cute and definitely huggable…YES, me!

  1003. 100,000 Lemmings can’t be wrong!

  1004. Tallulah Bankhead~ They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.

  1005. What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster? He became an ex-Ray.

  1006. Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!

  1007. Failure is nature’s plan to prepare you for great responsibilities. -Napoleon Hill

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  1010. hasn’t got a pot to piss in (nor a window to throw it out).

  1011. Misfortune shows those who are not really friends. -Aristotle

  1012. Bruce Lee~ One great cause of failure is lack of concentration.

  1013. Money is nice, yet nice is worth more.

  1014. The losses as well as the prizes must be drawn from the cheating lottery of life. – Le Sage

  1015. Laurence J. Peter~ It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.

  1016. What food are you able to can? Cannibal (can able) food.

  1017. Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? A: King Kong is more sensitive.

  1018. It is better to err on the side of daring than the side of caution. -Alvin Toffler

  1019. Julius Caesar~ Men willingly believe what they wish.

  1020. William Shakespeare~ Virtue and genuine graces in themselves speak what no words can utter.

  1021. Oscar Fingall OFlahertie Wills Wilde~ To love ones self is the beginning of a life-long romance.

  1022. How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap.

  1023. Albert Einstein~ It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

  1024. To have striven, to have made the effort, to have been true to certain ideals – this alone is worth the struggle. -William Penn

  1025. He’s anybody’s dog that will hunt with him.

  1026. Brian Tracy~ Ive found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often.

  1027. There is no good in preaching to the hungry. – German Proverb

  1028. Turnabout is fair play. – American Proverb

  1029. A human being’s first responsibility is to shake hands with himself. -Henry Winkler

  1030. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible. -Oscar Wilde

  1031. The last stole the sack. – German Proverb

  1032. Microsecond – The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

  1033. A cloak is not made for a single shower of rain. – Italian Proverb

  1034. WWJD — Why Won’t Jesus Drive?

  1035. William Shakespeare~ The trust I have is in mine innocence and therefore am I bold and resolute.

  1036. Julius Henry Marx~ Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

  1037. Persian Proverb~ Once I had the strength but no wisdom now I have the wisdom but no strength.

  1038. Karen Elizabeth Gordon~ Either Ive been missing something or nothing has been going on.

  1039. When do burgers quit their jobs? The day they decide to meat LOAF!

  1040. What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal? That hit the spots!

  1041. John Galsworthy~ Idealism increases in direct proportion to ones distance from the problem.

  1042. What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer!

  1043. Less is more. – German Proverb

  1044. The golden age never was the present age. – English Proverb

  1045. The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. -Ann Landers

  1046. He may lie safely who comes from afar. – Italian Proverb

  1047. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Arnold! Arnold who? Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine!

  1048. Saint Augustine~ Hear the other side.

  1049. Thank God I’m Female!

  1050. There are no failures – only feedback.

  1051. On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!

  1052. Truth ill-timed is as bad as a lie. – German Proverb

  1053. Bad bird, bad egg. – German Proverb

  1054. Muhammad Ali~ Its hard to be humble when youre as great as I am.

  1055. Search for the seed of good in every adversity. -Og Mandino

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  1058. Coco Chanel~ How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

  1059. Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. – Mme De StaÎl

  1060. poor planning on your part does not create an emergency on my part.

  1061. Don Herold~ There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

  1062. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

  1063. Much caution does no harm. – Portuguese Proverb

  1064. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

  1065. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Bolzano! Bolzano who? Bolzano the door!

  1066. Higgledy-Piggedly!

  1067. Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance. -Samuel Johnson

  1068. A full boat. (referring to a full house in poker).

  1069. Oscar Wilde~ Why was I born with such contemporaries

  1070. You just may be a #catnut if: You have to rent a trailer for the mobile home to hold the 9lives for the road trips.

  1071. Ellen Glasgow~ The only difference between a rut and a grave… is in their dimensions.

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  1073. One bird in hand is better far Than two that in the bushes are. – Italian Proverb

  1074. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

  1075. Diligence is the mother of good luck.

  1076. Knock Knock. Who’s there! Alda! Alda who? Alda time you knew who it was!

  1077. Rabindranath Tagore~ Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.

  1078. Black bug’s blood

  1079. Think no vice so small that you may commit it, and no virtue so small that you may over look it. – Confucius

  1080. W. Somerset Maugham~ It is salutary to train oneself to be no more affected by censure than by praise.

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  1096. I don’t trust President Clinton (or her husband).

  1097. Charles Lamb~ Credulity is the mans weakness but the childs strength.

  1098. What’s a rabbits’ favourite car? Any make, just as long it’s a hutchback!

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  1135. Where money, there friends. – German Proverb

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